Monthly Archives: August 2013

Who’s opinion are you living by?

August 22, 2013180 Blogaddiction, Christian, church, depression, expectation, hope, hopeless, juvenile, marriage, opinion, self help, self-confidence, self-esteemThe 180 Program

Today while teaching I realized that there was a new twist on the same story. We teach that an event happened, that created an opinion that started an expectation (good or bad) which in turn led to an action. This cycle goes around and around. Some will call it the cycle of insanity if its producing negative consequences. But today as I was teaching I had an epiphany as a participant (who happens at this time to be a resident of our local jail) says “yes but you are different, you don’t see me as a felon”.

So I stopped teaching sat on the table and went one by one till all 15 young men had told me: their name, who they are i.e. a father, grandfather, son, uncle, and/or husband. Then I had them tell me what they had accomplished, i.e. graduate high school, GED, College, successful business owner and so on and so forth.

I wanted them to see who they were, not what society was calling them. They were allowing the opinion of others to dictate who they were going to become.

I have put this cycle in so you can see how this works.

So my question to you is; what is the opinion you have about yourself? Now go back and rework the cycle with that opinion as your starting point. If it is negative then please contact us so that we can help you get the cycle started on a positive cycle. And the best way to do that is to start with an EXPECTATION that you want for yourself. So the cycle would look like this.

So today what are you believing in for yourself so that your Self-Fulfilling Prophecy will start to take a positive turn. What is your EXPECTATION in life? And quit living by the negative opinions that others have about you.

**disclaimer** when I talk about EXPECTATION I am not talking about winning the lottery, I am talking about: Education, Career, Home, being a good parent, being sober, going to church… real life goals that are achievable.

Where does my HOPE come from?

August 20, 2013180 Blogaccountability, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, church, hope, medicating, medication, unworthy, wothlessnessThe 180 Program

This morning as I was reading Proverbs 20 I felt the need to rewrite it in this way:

When the day is too overwhelming don’t medicate the pain with alcohol or drugs because “Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise.” Medicating the pain puts you in a place mediocrity and complacency. You will become lazy and then “Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.” Or you will just want to sleep away the pain “If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!” Medicating the pain also takes away your ability to think straight, all you know is you want the pain to go away so you need more drugs/alcohol; but with no money to pay for more, you start to steal. “Stolen bread tastes sweet, but it turns to gravel in the mouth.” In the end the consequences are not how you played them out in your head. You get caught and with desperation being your only counsel “Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice”, you start making empty promises. “Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost”. So in the end you need to remember that “The Lord’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive”. We also need to remember that “The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”

May today be a fresh day with a new outlook! If you are ready to quit medicating your pain and have a HOPE for tomorrow please contact us.

Letting Life Happen-Making Life Happen

August 6, 2013180 Blogaccountability, addiction, church worthlessness, decisions, hope, single moms, stuckThe 180 Program

Body language we all use it. Intentional or unintentional.

Yesterday while teaching in jail one of the participants who was new, just sat there with arms folded and a stern look on her face. Her body language was: I cannot believe I came to this class, this is stupid and I am better than this.

I continued to speak and handed out papers. I wanted them to fill out an “ILP- Individualized Life Plan”. This guided them to make decisions as to where they wanted to be in 90 days, 6 months, 2 years and 5 years. As I was asking the questions the ladies were writing their answers and everyone would answer except for this particular lady whose “body language” was closed off.

We finished the 90 day page and I asked a question: Based on your past life experineces, how are you going to get there? So I went to the board and showed them this: An Event has happened which created an opinion about yourself, which then created an expectation (good or bad) which was then followed by an action. This cycle is called “letting life happen”.

So this cycle continues until you see yourself worthy enough to make the change. Or until you let someone into your life that will hold you accountable to make the changes that you wish to see. For most people they are so far in the cycle of “letting life happen” that they can’t even start to imagine a different life. The bondage of life is so bad, but it’s all they know so it’s comfortable- plus they don’t want to hear the “I told you it wouldn’t work” by someone in their past that still has a hold on them, this could be a parent, relative or a past significant other that they have a child with.

Now back to the “ILP”. I showed them by flipping the cycle just 180° they will now enter a cycle of “Making Life Happen”

So back to my lady in class: Her body language has now totally changed and you can see that the wheels are turning. And I ask her “so what do you think?” She says, “Since July I have been wondering why I can’t get a court date until next month and why I am sitting back in that cell…. But now I know; I was locked up so I could see this. I have been floundering for the past 2 years and knew that it was about to end nowhere good, but I could not stop it”.

She went on to say that she was caught up in the “I’ll never be good enough or good as” thought process.

I looked at her and said “Don’t let Satan use your thoughts that you will never be good as or good enough to be forgiven. When God forgives he forgets; Satan just uses our low self esteem and low self confidence to keep us in the bondage of worthlessness, and that we aren’t worthy to be someone of importance.”

So what is it that God is asking you to change in your life but you are so used to “letting life happen” that you don’t see yourself worthy of attaining:

Finishing High School
College education
Teaching a Sunday School Class
Starting a Business
Being a good parent
Being a good spouse
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