Tag Archives: accountability

Where does my HOPE come from?

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HOPE?
Where does my HOPE come from

 

This morning as I was reading Proverbs 20 I felt the need to rewrite it in this way:

When the day is too overwhelming don’t medicate the pain with alcohol or drugs because “Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise.” Medicating the pain puts you in a place mediocrity and complacency.  You will become lazy and then “Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.” Or you will just want to sleep away the pain “If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!”  Medicating the pain also takes away your ability to think straight, all you know is you want the pain to go away so you need more drugs/alcohol; but with no money to pay for more, you start to steal. “Stolen bread tastes sweet, but it turns to gravel in the mouth.” In the end the consequences are not how you played them out in your head. You get caught and with desperation being your only counsel “Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice”, you start making empty promises. “Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost”. So in the end you need to remember that “The Lord’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive”.  We also need to remember that “The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”

 

May today be a fresh day with a new outlook!  If you are ready to quit medicating your pain and have a HOPE for tomorrow please contact us.

Letting Life Happen-Making Life Happen

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Body language we all use it. Intentional or unintentional.

Yesterday while teaching in jail one of the participants who was new, just sat there with arms folded and a stern look on her face.  Her body language was: I cannot believe I came to this class, this is stupid and I am better than this.

I continued to speak and handed out papers. I wanted them to fill out an “ILP- Individualized Life Plan”.  This guided them to make decisions as to where they wanted to be in 90 days, 6 months, 2 years and 5 years.  As I was asking the questions the ladies were writing their answers and everyone would answer except for this particular lady whose “body language” was closed off.

We finished the 90 day page and I asked a question:  Based on your past life experineces, how are you going to get there?  So I went to the board and showed them this:  An Event has happened which created an opinion about yourself, which then created an expectation (good or bad) which was then followed by an action.  This cycle is called “letting life happen”.

letting life happen_1

So this cycle continues until you see yourself worthy enough to make the change.  Or until you let someone into your life that will hold you accountable to make the changes that you wish to see. For most people they are so far in the cycle of “letting life happen” that they can’t even start to imagine a different life. The bondage of life is so bad, but it’s all they know so it’s comfortable- plus they don’t want to hear the “I told you it wouldn’t work” by someone in their past that still has a hold on them, this could be a parent, relative or a past significant other that they have a child with.

Now back to the “ILP”.  I showed them by flipping the cycle just 180° they will now enter a cycle of “Making Life Happen”


Making life happen_1

So back to my lady in class:  Her body language has now totally changed and you can see that the wheels are turning. And I ask her “so what do you think?”  She says, “Since July I have been wondering why I can’t get a court date until next month and why I am sitting back in that cell…. But now I know; I was locked up so I could see this.  I have been floundering for the past 2 years and knew that it was about to end nowhere good, but I could not stop it”.

She went on to say that she was caught up in the “I’ll never be good enough or good as” thought process.

I looked at her and said “Don’t let Satan use your thoughts that you will never be good as or good enough to be forgiven.  When God forgives he forgets; Satan just uses our low self esteem and low self confidence to keep us in the bondage of worthlessness, and that we aren’t worthy to be someone of importance.”

So what is it that God is asking you to change in your life but you are so used to “letting life happen” that you don’t see yourself worthy of attaining:

  • Finishing High School
  • College education
  • Teaching a Sunday School Class
  • Starting a Business
  • Being a good parent
  • Being a good spouse
  • ___________________________________________________

 

 

 

This content is from the 180 Program© New Beginnings Curriculum

One Smart Cookie

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10 years ago I had the privilege of meeting a 5 year old. He forever changed my life. He also has changed how I look at kids who have “attitudes”. As I have walked with this young man I wish I could turn back the hands of time and help him more. To love him was just not enough. His anger and hatred for the world and all authority has eaten him alive.
I remember one day the school giving us this answer when we asked if he could be tested for the gifted program: “when he gets his anger under control, then we will test him”.
Why do I bring this young man to the forefront of my blog today? Because I have 3 more years to try and reach him before he becomes a legal adult and I DO NOT want him to become a resident of our Correctional system. He has a great heart but growing up for so long in a fatherless home and then to grow up with a stepfather that has no rights to even tell him to clean his room (according to our state system), it seems that everyone has given up and said “well he’s going to just end up like his dad”.
Today I taught 135 men in the Ohio Prison. It was an amazing time teaching and I love what I do… but God stopped me in my tracks and said “what about the children? You can still help save the children.” During the talk I asked how many of the men were dads? About 90% or 122 men were dads. That means at least 122 children are growing up fatherless. At the end of the talk Rob (my awesome husband) asked the guys to go back to page 2 which was the genogram. As they turned there, Rob asked the question: “when your children get older what is their genogram going to say about you?” You can change today if you want.
As we finished our drive today in silence my heart was breaking. I wanted to scream and cry. What about the children? When we got to our hotel I started searching for the facts about children who live in fatherless homes and I am going to tell you the statistics scared me.
• 5 times more likely to commit suicide
• 32 times more likely to run away
• 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
• 14 times more likely to commit rape
• 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
• 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison
Now for another stat:
Men and women who are incarcerated, their children are 70% more likely to end up in the Correctional system also. Not 70% of them will end up, but they have a 70% greater possibility of ending up in the correctional system.
But I already knew these statistics I just did not know the numbers. How did I know these stats existed because I have lived it for the past 10 years doing inner city ministry. I have seen my share of the behavioral issues just as I stated at the beginning but I do not put these stats here for you to say “oh poor baby”. I wrote this in hopes you will join me in being an Image Builder for a child or a 180 person for a teen or adult. Before you decide let me finish with what I am asking of you.
How do we fix the problem: RELATIONSHIPS: Relationships with the fathers to teach them how to be good dads. RELATIONSHIPS: Relationships with the mothers to teach them how to be good moms. In the 180 Program we talk about getting a “Board of Directors”, well it’s going to take YOUR time and effort to make this successful. And how do we reach the kids? Its by becoming an Image Builder in your local school. Working with a child who is academically at risk of becoming one of the statistics mentioned above.
So it all boils down to 2 things:
1. RELATIONSHIPS
2. EDUCATION

Are you in? For more information please contact us: info@atghope.org home of the 180 Program and the Image Builders Program.